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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

10 Run Commandments... What??

So I've toyed with the idea of doing a 10 Run Commandments for a few weeks, after my Snow Flake 5k Saturday, the idea surfaced again when I asked a fellow runner what would make their list; they said "cotton underwear, no one told me I shouldn't wear them, I did and learned the hard way".  I took to FB yesterday to get a gauge on what else was out there.

Write them on the soles of your kicks and in your heart...

For the exact verbiage I revisited my original post, "What would make the list of your 10 Run Commandments? Thou shalt not wear-then I stopped typing at 9:46 am, because I realized I used the wrong wear, dammit, thank God for the edit button on FB. 

My face when I notice an error after I posted something... 
Ok I'm back after editing the post. LMBO!!  The last of the sentence was: "cotton underwear to run in, ever... Lol".  It was funny hearing my friend describe their experience and we laughed at her pain.

I took the Tighty Whitey cotton brief warning for granted, until someone asked: "Why not cotton??? What Happens??? What should one wear??? With in minutes her questions were answered, "Go commando or microfiber undies or you will chafe your hind parts" for good measure she tossed in blended wool socks.. Lol.  

So here are my 10 Run Commandments as I received from the running gods and a few of you. 

1. Shut up and run, but before you do, get fitted for a decent pair of kicks and if you don't know ask somebody, trust me stuff will come up and you'll have tons of questions-find somewhere safe to float your concerns.

2. No Quiero Taco Bell, Chilly or anything spicy before a run.  Tom suggested pooping before going out and a long run and you're not sure carry a fanny pack, with toilet care package.  And what ever you do, Pam said do not trust your fart, Sharting is mother!!!  If nature calls your name walk clear off the trail to drop a deuce-thanks Jim.

3.  If you run please match, no sense enduring the pain and compounding it by looking bad in the process.  Think of it as homage to your mother's admonition to you when you were younger, "always wear clean underwear in case you get into an accident."  Shorts over tights is confusing to me, but whatever gets you out for a run by all means rock out!!  This issue had fellas on both sides of the aisle.  Seth strongly advises against it.

4. Don't spit a luggie in the wind.  Look both ways before shooting a snot rocket

5.  Thou shalt not leave home without body glide  especially If thy thighs rub 

6.  Thou shalt not run without band aided nips.. Apparently this is an issue for some  just make sure their not Miss Kitty band aides.

7. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors bling, pace or any of their accomplishments or commit adultery with other fuel than the one you trained with on your runs.

8. Thou shalt not wear white socks with black running kicks or  dress shoes for that matter, only Micheal Jackson can pull this  off, lets keep the tradition dead along with members only jackets.

9. Thou shall line up with the correct pace group, if you know you're not going to finish minutes behind the elites start where you trained, you're not going to become miraculous faster on race day and it only causes bottle neck. 

10. Thou shalt honor thy rest day...

Disclaimer the running gods did not authorize this message

Whatever you do or where every you run have fun and enjoy the gift of running.


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